Behave, People! Really? A Squirrel?

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

This is a story I somehow missed a few weeks ago, but it’s just too good to pass up.  A South Carolina woman, Helen Ann Williams, was arrested on Christmas Day for stabbing her common-law husband with a ceramic squirrel the night before.

His crime? Heading out to buy beer, finding the store closed, and thus returning home empty-handed – it was Christmas Eve, after all.

The woman was apparently so incensed about her husband being beer-less, she picked up a ceramic squirrel (who doesn’t have a ceramic squirrel?), hit him over the head with it, then stabbed him in the shoulder and chest.

Helen Ann Williams

Helen Ann Williams

According to NBC, it was no joke.  The police found the man covered in blood with cuts on his shoulder and face, and a huge gash in his chest.

But the best part of the whole thing?  The final line in the NBC story online:

The condition of the squirrel wasn’t reported.

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